Thursday, December 27, 2012

Turnip Chronicles II: Resigned Redemption

By Stephanie Burt

[fade in]

Woman #1 in comfortable clothes opens fridge and pulls out turnips. They have had tops removed ...

[flashback]

Woman #1 holds hand over cast iron skillet, then adjusts heat, pours a decent splash of olive oil into pan, then tosses chopped greens from cutting board into pan. Greens turn vibrant color. Woman #1 smiles, adds a dash of salt, some sliced grape tomatoes, and a beaten egg. Scene fades ...

Scene 2

Woman #1 (mumbling): OK, treat them just like potatoes. We'll see ...

Woman turns on water, scrubs each turnip under spigot, then turns off water and quarters each small, white veggie. Meanwhile, she turns away and hits the preheat button on the oven.

She opens cabinet above her head, pulls out cranberry-colored Pyrex dish (popular in 1998) and fills with diced turnips. Sprinkles with herbs from herb shelf, drizzles with olive oil, then tosses. Washes her hands, then grabs dish and places in the oven. Leaves room ...

Scene 3

Woman #1 walks back into room and opens oven. Calm. Grabs potholder, pulls out dish, sitting it on top of stove. She peers into it, then hits "cancel" on stove buttons.

Woman #1: OK, already better. No burning. Let's see how you taste -- chicken makes everything better.

Woman #1 pokes turnip with fork, piercing it, then brings it to her mouth, pausing. She blows on the veggie, browned on one side and soft, then takes a bite, reacting to the hot.

Woman #1: OK. Not bad. That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Woman #1 looks off in distance with a faint recognition ... [thinking] Have I heard that line before?

[fade out]

This has been a S. Burt plagiarized production.

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